I don’t know about you, dear friends, but this year hasn’t looked anything like I imagined it would on January one. Back then, I’d been optimistic and full of purpose, with the confident swagger of someone who knew where she was headed and how she was going to get there.
After months and months of hard work—turning struggles into strengths and inconsistent habits into persistent practices—I had a complete novel manuscript in my possession, along with a solid strategy for getting it published. For the first time in years, I had momentum on my side, and—embracing the memes about 20/20 vision—I had focus.
Yes, this was going to be my year. The year I found the clarity and courage I needed to let go of distractions and excuses and finally, FINALLY, experience tangible progress on some big goals.
But then came the great plot twist. The wrench in the plan, the unexpected obstacle on the highway. As if I’d been cruising along in a driver’s ed car, oblivious to the instructor’s presence until he slammed on the passenger-side brakes reminding me that I am not in control.
The jolt was a wakeup call, and in the midst of grieving what has seemed like an immeasurable number of losses, I have also begun to see this time as an opportunity for growth. A chance to reflect, reevaluate, and refocus. A gift through which my 2020 mission—to create space for stillness in order to hear God’s guidance—might become a reality.
With a suddenly cleared schedule and the unknown fate of the publishing industry at the forefront of my mind, I have found myself stuck in a holding pattern with some newly available empty hours. Although many times I’ve turned to mind-numbing activities in order to quiet the anxiety and fear and doubt, there have been moments—beautiful, blessed moments—when an immersion in silent prayer has produced an undeniable nudge to adjust my attention.
In all honestly, I don’t know yet exactly what that means or what it looks like, but in my heart, I feel that it starts with less time in the digital sphere and more in the physical realm. That said, after much deliberation, I have decided that this will be my last Facebook post.
With that in mind, I wanted to thank all of you for following my page, reading my posts, and just being an overall source of encouragement for the last couple of years. I truly believe I wouldn’t have made it to “The End” without your support and accountability, and more than that, I wouldn’t have made it to this new beginning (whatever it may be).
I’m not sure where my journey goes from here, but as long as I have something to write about, I will be keeping my blog active, so if you’re interested in continuing to read, be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
I wish you all health and happiness in the second half of this crazy year.
Peace and love,